Do We Have To Forgive Every Person Every Time Without Exception?

(All verses KJV unless otherwise noted.)

The traditional church doctrine says that you must forgive everyone of everything, with no exceptions. Women are told that they must forgive their husbands or boyfriends that physically, verbally, emotionally & spiritually abuse them. Children are told to forgive parents who abuse them. Victims of rape are told to forgive their rapers. If someone murders your spouse, parents, children, other family or friends, you are told that you must forgive them. If someone uses you for your money, you are told that you must forgive them. If someone steals from you, you are told that you must forgive them. And the list goes on, we are expected by the traditional church to allow people to run over us and allow people to continue to abuse us and treat us horribly. But is this really the will of our Almighty, Perfect, All Loving & wise GOD?

Forgive 70 x 7?

Matthew 18:21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my BROTHER sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? :22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

This verse is commonly used to teach the doctrine that we must always forgive without exception. We understand that 70 x 7 does NOT mean that we should forgive a person ONLY 490 times, but rather that 70 x 7 is symbolic of forgiving many times, even 500+ times. But what people do not notice is that it says "brother". Most people would say that "brother" means everyone, because we are all related through Adam & Eve. But notice who Jesus said are our true brothers.

Matthew 12: 46 While he yet talked to the people, behold, his mother and his brethren stood without, desiring to speak with him. 47 Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee. 48 But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren? 49 And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! 50 FOR WHOSOEVER SHALL DO THE WILL OF MY FATHER WHICH IS IN HEAVEN, THE SAME IS MY BROTHER, AND SISTER, AND MOTHER.

Therefore, people who steal from us, rob us, rape us, abuse us, use us or murder our family, are NOT our brothers. They are through Adam & Eve, but not through Jesus Christ. Should we forgive the followers of the devil the same amount as the followers of Jesus? What does "forgive" mean? It means to release a person from their guilt. To no longer hold that person accountable for their actions, to no longer hold them as guilty. If a person is guilty, and does not confess their guilt, and does not repent, but continues their wicked ways, should we release that guilty, wicked person from their guilt? NO! Absolutely not and I will present the proof to you in the holy scriptures! People often use "one verse theology", which means they consider only one verse, or only certain verses, to form their incorrect religious doctrine. They do NOT sincerely consider ALL verses that are related to the topic. Therefore they do NOT consider the following verse:

Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, REBUKE him; and IF he REPENT, forgive him. :4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

That is a verse that you will never hear read in the traditional Babylonian false church that uses one verse theology. You are never told that you should rebuke people who do you wrong. Notice that it also uses the word "brother", so regardless of whether we think "brother" means via Adam & Eve or whether we think it means only our true spiritual brothers, we must understand that Luke 17 & Matt.18 are parallel accounts of the same statement of Jesus. And 70 x 7 is the same as 7 x 7. Any time that you have several people telling their account of what happened and what was said, you will always have some differences between the different testimonies. One witness might include something that the other witness left out. Luke was not actually there with Jesus at that time. But he later interviewed many people and wrote about what he had heard from many people who had seen & heard Jesus. ( Luke 1)

Whereas Matthew wrote only from his own personal viewpoint of what he saw & heard. Anyway, Jesus told us that if someone trespasses against us (does us wrong), we are to rebuke them! This is completely in line with other verses that teach us to not compromise with evil and to be bold and use the authority that GOD has given to us. Jesus taught us in Matthew 10:11-15 and 21:18-22 that we can curse people. That's something that you will never hear in the traditional Babylonian churches, but it's in the bible!

In Luke 17, Jesus does NOT say that we must forgive everyone for anything without exception. But instead, he teaches us that we should address the issue and seek the person's repentance before we should forgive them. Why? >1. If we forgive everyone for anything without exception, it would be very dangerous for us! Our lives would be miserable! Everyone would abuse us in every possible way and we could not possibly have peace or safety. Women would always stay with abusive men. We would never disfellowship from anyone for any reason which is not biblical. The bible does instruct us to disfellowship from people who are hypocrites and from wicked people and from unbelievers. 2 Cor.6:14-18 and 1 Cor.5:1-7 and many other verses. The fruit of the traditional doctrine of forgiving everyone without exception is: murdered women who continued to live with their abusive husbands/boyfriends, & more wickedness and more victims of every crime imaginable.

  1. Forgiving every person for anything without exception does NOT help that person. But rather is a horrible & unloving way to treat that person! People think that "love" means that we must compromise with all evil, all false doctrine, all wickedness, all transgressions; and that we should never offend. But the truth is that if we love people, we should speak out against evil (Ephesians 5:11), rebuke false doctrine (2 Tim.4:2) & rebuke the people who do us wrong as Luke 17 tells us. This is because if we allow people to do wrong without correction, we are helping them to sin against GOD and go to the Lake of Fire. But by speaking up boldly & rebuking them and correcting them, we are giving them an opportunity to get right with GOD and get saved and live a better life and inherit eternal life. We are not loving or helping people by ignoring their transgressions against us. Instead we are ignoring the need to help them. And we are also teaching them that it's acceptable to treat people wrong and that there are no consequences of their evil actions. And we are hurting ourselves and contributing to our own destruction based upon a false doctrine. And more people will be treated wrong by those people because we did not try to correct them and teach them better. IF no one ever stands up to them, they will never learn their lesson. They will continue their destructive pattern for as long as they know that they can get away with it. Righteous people have the duty to stand against evil, always!

As Jesus Forgives Us

Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Colossians 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

These verses proclaim that we should forgive in the SAME manner as GOD forgives. But how and when does HE forgive? Isn't it true that GOD/Jesus forgives ONLY when a person both confesses AND repents? Yes! Jesus does NOT forgive people who does NOT confess that they have done wrong, or who does NOT stop doing their sin/trangression/trespasses. In order to be forgiven by GOD, we MUST, we are REQUIRED, to confess and repent. We MUST confess that we have done wrong and we must stop doing wrong and we must start doing right. If we do not meet these requirements, GOD does NOT forgive us! So if we forgive others as Christ forgave us, then we must also use the same measure of standard. What these verses teach is that we should overall, generally, be merciful. We should not always hold grudges if the person is willing to confess and repent. We should not be hard hearted to not ever forgive people even if they repent.

Are we MORE Forgiving and MORE Holy Than GOD?

The traditional doctrine teaches that you MUST forgive EVERYONE without any requirement of repentance or confession of the other person. The traditional doctrine makes you seem more holy, more merciful and more forgiving than even GOD himself! This is blasphemous! But it's exactly what most "Christians" are teaching!

What We Bind or Release on Earth

Matthew 18:15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. 16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. 18 Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

The context of Matt.18:15-20 is specific to the interactions of the true followers of Jesus Christ. Notice that it instructs us to NOT ignore the person's sins but to go to that person and address the issue, in hopes of helping that person to confess & repent so that they can inherit eternal life. That is true love. NOT ignoring and forgiving every transgression without exception. Notice that in this context, if the person doesn't repent the first time, that we should get assistance from other true Christians to help convince the person of their faults. But if the person never repents, we must eventually disfellowship from that person! We are to treat them as a "heathen" which means lost person. Therefore this also tells us that we could also confront lost people, not just true Christians, and also try to correct them and also disfellowship from them if they refuse to repent. IF we can treat fellow church members as "heathens", that automatically tells us that we can also fellowship from lost people, the two groups of people are treated the same. But with church members, we could exercise more time and more effort to convince them of their sins, because surely that person would hopefully be willing to heed our advice and godly correction, whereas a lost person surely would not receive our word as kindly. Proverbs 9:8 "Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee."

Notice that in Matt.18:15-20 that we are NOT required to forgive the person and continue to be his friend, unless he repents. Some times it is necessary to shun people in order to get them to really think about what they have done wrong.

John 20 :19 Then the same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled for fear of the Jews, came Jesus and stood in the midst, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you. 20 And when he had so said, he shewed unto them his hands and his side. Then were the disciples glad, when they saw the Lord. 21 Then said Jesus to them again, Peace be unto you: as my Father hath sent me, even so send I you. 22 And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and saith unto them, Receive ye the Holy Ghost: 23 Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained.

John 20:19-23 is NEVER taught in the Protestant church. It teaches that we CAN remit or retain people's forgiveness to Heaven. It doesn't say that we MUST remit their forgiveness, which means that we CAN choose to remit or retain (withhold) forgiveness. (Mark 2:5-10 John 14:10-14, Matt.16:19; 17:20: 18:15-20, James 5:15, Exo.23:20, Matt.9:5, Luke 17:3-4) This scripture is very clear. Jesus gave power and authority to his ministers, and even to anyone with the same Holy Ghost, to remit the forgiveness of another person to Heaven, or to retain and hold back that forgiveness. It is NOT us that pays the price of that forgiveness. But we do hold authority and power in Heaven as representatives of Him, & representatives of his government upon this Earth. We shall be kings and priests. We shall seat in thrones and we shall judge both: angels and the world. That's in the bible! And according to Ephesians, we already are seated in Heavenly places. We have authority NOW! When a person is a manager of a business, but not the owner, many times the manager has the power to approve or disapprove of bills/invoices that must be paid. The manager must carefully examine the invoice and determine whether it should be paid or refused. I used to personally do this when I was in management of businesses. The manager marks the bill payable or not payable. This is also the authority of the true followers of Jesus. That is very contrary to what we are taught by mainstream Protestant religion, but nevertheless totally biblical and helps to prove that we are not always required to forgive. We can remit or retain. (For more information about remitting and retaining sins, please see list of related articles the bottom of this page.)

Another Verse That is Traditionally Used:

Matthew 18:23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. 24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents. 25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. 27 Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. 28 But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. 29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. 30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt. 31 So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done. 32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: 33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? 34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. 35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

Notice that the context is forgiving people of money/financial debt that they are truly NOT able to pay. This has nothing to do with murder, rape, stealing, abuse, using people, cheating, adultery or anything else, other than financial debt that the person truly cannot pay. Yet people will use this verse to claim that we must forgive everyone without exception, without considering the PREVIOUS verses RIGHT BEFORE these verses, which indicate that we do NOT have to forgive people if they do not repent! People only look at the verses that they WANT to look at and ignore the other verses!

Another Verse Traditionally Used:

Matthew 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: :15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

We cannot consider this verse all by itself without considering ALL other bible verses in the entire bible about forgiveness. We should not use "one verse theology". Therefore, considering ALL bible verses from Genesis to Revelation, we are NOT required to ALWAYS forgive. BUT when we should forgive, then of course we should forgive. We should not be hard hearted to never forgive anyone of anything. In general, we should TRY to be loving, kind, gentle, forgiving people. And that's what Matt.6:14-15 is about, i.e. forgiving people in general, when needed and when possible. But we must realize that it is not always needed, and not always wise. Jesus does NOT expect you or require you to let people run over you and abuse you and use you! Don't be a floor mat! And don't be a coward!

Not Being Hard Hearted & Over Condemning Or Over Judgmental: Having a Heart of Mercy & Heart of Forgiveness

Luke 6:37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

Most people have been taught that the bible teaches that we should NEVER judge anyone for anything. Which is ANOTHER false and extremely dangerous doctrine! If you never judge anyone, you will be murdered before reach the age of 20! All of us must constantly be judging people on a daily basis. We must judge whether a person is safe or not safe, trustworthy or not trustworthy, honest or not honest, dependable or not dependable, true or not true, etc. IF we do not judge anyone for anything, we will live a very dangerous and irresponsible life, if we even live pass our childhood! But Matt.7 & John 7 and many other verses actually teach us that we should not judge hypocritically, but rather only fairly. We should not be over judgmental or over condemning. In general, we should be people who generally try not be oppressive, but rather tender and gentle. We should also be willing to forgive when it's needed and when it's wise to do so. But not when it is NOT wise to do so. Matthew 10:16 (NASB) "Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves; so be shrewd (wise & clever)

as serpents and innocent as doves."

We should WANT to forgive. In fact, SOME times, even if the person doesn't confess & repent, it might be best to just overlook them and forgive & forget, especially if it was a misunderstanding, or if they were ignorant, or if they couldn't help it, or if we just choose to not make a big deal out of it. But that doesn't mean that we should always forgive without any exception, because that would be unwise, unloving, careless, dangerous, foolish and NOT what Christ would always do.

Objection: On the cross, Jesus forgave those who crucified him. But they did not confess that they were doing wrong, nor did they repent. Luke 23:34 "Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots." Answer: Jesus also said that they did not realize what they were doing. They were sinning in ignorance. They thought that they were carrying out justice. It would be the same situation as a person hired to control the switch of an electric chair in a prison. The person follows the orders of the court which has judged that the person is guilty and deserving of death. The person controlling the switch doesn't know if the prisoner is truly innocent and falsely accused. They are only doing their job. They are forgiven by GOD for their ignorance and HE is totally understanding of the situation. Also, it was ordained that Jesus was to die. It HAD to happen. Jesus himself said that no man took his life, but that he voluntarily surrendered it. John 10:18 "NO MAN taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father." Jesus even told Pilate, that HE Himself was in control the entire time and gave Pilate the authority to crucify him. John 19:11 "Jesus answered, Thou couldest have no power at all against me, except it were given thee from above: therefore he that delivered me unto thee hath the greater sin." Remember also that in the Old Testament, when a person committed involuntary manslaughter (killing someone by accident or beyond their control) that the person was given mercy and were not sentenced to death (nor to the Lake of Fire), but was sent to a city of refuge. The people who crucified Jesus were ignorant of the situation & everything was under GOD's control and NO person took the life of Jesus. He laid it down himself and everything that happened, was supposed to happen by GOD's design and plan. This is much different than someone using you or abusing you. That's NOT GOD's will for you to allow people to continue to oppress you and make your life miserable.

My Own Testimony

Many years ago, my physical brother got angry against me only because I refused to go pick up a person who was wicked and who was under investigation in a murder case. I was wise enough to say "NO" to such a stupid & unreasonable request/demand! But my brother chased me out of the house and to my car. I thought that he was going to murder me right there! I immediately drove to a church where I had visited before and arrived late as the pastor had already started his sermon. But this is where I felt that I needed to go. Immediately as soon as I sat down in the church, the pastor in mid-sermon said "You don't have to forgive them. You don't have to let family treat you worst than a dog!". This man DIDN'T KNOW anything about what just happened! But JESUS DID! And Jesus put these words into that pastor's mouth! Another time, I visited someone in a mental hospital. The person actually deserved to be in prison. It was a family member and I visited them in love. But the person kept treating me wrong at every visit and every phone call. They falsely accused me and held me accountable for why they were in the mental hospital, even though the person rightfully deserved worst! Finally one day, I had enough!!!! In the middle of a visit, I said that I will not be returning to visit them again & I walked out! I went to my car in many tears, and driving down the highway, I thought to myself, "I'm not going to let that person treat me like a dog anymore. I'm not going to let them run over me!" I turned on the car radio, and the minister on the radio said something very similar to "GOD doesn't require you to allow them to treat you like a dog. You don't have to let people run over you. It's okay to walk away." If I followed the traditional doctrine of the Babylon church, I would probably, most likely, even SURELY, be dead by now, and would have been murdered many years ago. We must use wisdom! Forgiving everyone for anything, without exception, is foolish and stupid! AND dangerous!

Lying to GOD & to Ourselves

Because most Christians are taught that they absolutely MUST always forgive every person every time without any exemption, we generally tend to deceive ourselves into thinking that we have forgiven someone when actually we haven't. And we end up lying to ourselves and to GOD! How can you say that you have forgiven someone if you continue to declare what they did wrong, still think about it, still bring it up, and still distance yourself from them. You are still holding that person accountable for what they did. You can say a million times that you have forgiven them, but the truth is, you have not forgiven them. And if that person has not confessed their wrong and has not changed their ways, then you have every right to NOT forgive them! In fact, it would be foolish and WRONG to release that person from their accountably of their transgressions! So don't lie to yourself and do not lie to GOD. HE knows and UNDERSTANDS why you have not released that person from being accountable for actions. However, we do need to be SURE that we were not the ones who were really wrong. We must all examine ourselves and be willing to confess and repent of OUR sins & transgressions. Don't be deceiving yourself that you were NOT the person who did wrong if you really were the person in the wrong. Sincerely examine yourself in fasting! And if you are truly in the right, and they are truly in the wrong, then so be it!

Love Your Enemies & Bless Them

Even if we do not forgive someone, we still must love them. This means that you should think about the fact that they were created for the glory of GOD just like you were. But they have gone astray from GOD's will. This is sad that they have gone astray from how GOD wants them to behave. You can still love the person with this understanding that they were created by the same GOD that created you. You should still pray for them and want the best for them. The best for them would be that they repent to GOD and to you and live more righteously. So you pray for them & for their change of heart. But this does NOT mean that you must embrace them, always forgive them for anything without any exception, let them "off the hook", or associate with them. Nor should you continue to allow them to do you wrong. "To bless them & not curse" means that if they come to us in TRUE need, such as without food, going hungry, and they truly do not have the ability to feed themselves, and if we have the ability to help them, then we should give them food. But if they don't have food because they used all their money on drugs & cigarettes, NO we do NOT have to help them! We must use wisdom! We are NOT required to allow people to use us! But if their need is real, and they come to us, or if we have a way of sending help anonymously, then we can bless them, but that still does NOT mean that we must allow them back into our lives, or allow them to be around us or to "use" us or to abuse us. In the eyes of GOD, they are still held accountable for their transgressions until they repent.

Shunning People, Disfellowship; Family: Spouse, Parents, Children, etc.

It's extremely needful that we push some people out of our lives! Whether forgiven or unforgaven. Even if you DO forgive someone & release them from their faults & from their guilt, does NOT mean that you must continue to allow that person in your life! Even your own mothers, dads, children, grandchildren, brothers, sisters, spouses, etc, it doesn't matter who they are! People are taught that if they are your parents or spouse that you must forgive them of anything without exceptions and that you are NEVER allowed to forsake/disfellowship from anyone! That's NOT what the bible teaches! People have told me that I have done wrong for forsaking family. They tell me that I am to love everyone especially family and to forgive and forget and overlook people's faults. They don't know the bible and the do NOT know what I have gone through! They don't know what GOD has told me! They do not know what would be the consequences of following their bad advice! They are deceived!

Matthew 10 34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. 35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. 36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. 37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. 39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.

Matthew 19:29 "And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life."

Luke 18:29 "And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of God's sake, :30 Who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come life everlasting."

The false church and unwise people will tell you that you can NEVER forsake family, parents, children or spouse, for ANY reason. That you must always forgive for any reason without exception. They do NOT know what they are talking about! IF we want a peaceful life, to live for GOD in peace and safety and a calm mind and not be constantly surrounded with drama and chaos, then we BETTER learn how to cast people out of our lives and CONTINUE TO hold people accountable for their actions UNTIL they TRULY repent and change their ways!

2 Cor.6: 14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. 18 And WILL BE A FATHER UNTO YOU, AND YE SHALL BE MY SONS AND DAUGHTERS, SAITH THE LORD ALMIGHTY.

Matthew 12: 46 While he yet talked to the people, behold, his mother and his brethren stood without, desiring to speak with him. 47 Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee. 48 But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren? 49 And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! 50 FOR WHOSOEVER SHALL DO THE WILL OF MY FATHER WHICH IS IN HEAVEN, THE SAME IS MY BROTHER, AND SISTER, AND MOTHER.

Related Article: Never Judge Anyone for Anything? Power to Remit or Retain Sins?

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